Sunday, May 26, 2019

Building A Better Mousetrap

We’ve all heard the old adage; ‘build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door,’ but this will do nothing about the mouse problem and it will just leave you with an unsightly path beaten into your nice front lawn.
The reason it will do nothing about the mouse problem is that mice tend to be sort of clever about traps and invariably figure out how to escape or avoid each new trap.
But as we all know, we all hate meeses to pieces!
So what’s the solution?
What I propose is the final solution to bring about an end to all meeses in our time, and it is just this; make the mouse crave the trap.
This would be easier than it might at first sound, for the following reasons.
Mices are neither individually all that bright nor capable of independent thought. They tend to hand together in social groups and rely on the opinions of certain authority figures within the group. This is actually how they learn to avoid traps, the opinion leaders or smarter mice teach the others about the traps.
So all we have to do is show the meeses pictures of these opinion leader mice owning traps. We can buy the cooperation of these opinion leaders with cheese.
In other words, make it socially acceptable for mice to own their own traps. It can be made into a status thing, showing pictures of the better meese putting their friends into their traps as a sort of party game or something.
Once we have established group approval of owning traps, we move directly into the next phase, which is getting the meese to  put their selves into their own traps and springing them.
We do this through a well organized propaganda campaign since is a well-established fact that, if you repeat anything often enough, mice begin to accept it as fact.
The propaganda campaign is basically that PAIN IS PLEASURE and DEATH IS FULFILLMENT.
Once we have successfully changed the meeses attitudes about traps they buy their own traps, jump into them and spring them on their selves thus saving us a lot of money invested on development of new traps and cheese.


Sunday, May 19, 2019

Reconnaissance Report From The Yellow Submarine

Reconnaissance Report From The

Yellow Submarine


Classified; For your eyes only
This is a follow-up report on Admiral Lennon’s final communication that new Blue Meanies were sighted in the vicinity of Pepperland despite their being rousted out by Admiral Lennon and his crew on the first expedition.
After an extensive search in the area south of Atlantis, we located Pepperland and infiltrated. We found the population in a state of extreme suppression and decided to investigate.
Disguising ourselves as locals, we dispersed and attempted to mingle with the citizenry in hopes of obtaining some useful information. The average citizen was difficult to approach and communicate with.
We attributed this to the small devices that they all clutched in their hands. They sat on buses or walked about with their heads down, in unbroken attention to whatever they were looking at in these devices.
It was difficult if not impossible in some cases to get their attention at all.
They would occasionally look up but soon retreated back into their devices.
We examined their media and found the first signs of the return of the Blue Meanies. The Blue Meanies had taken over their media and were controlling them by bombarding them with data that was invalidating and suppressive; continual stories of disasters and unfortunate events, deaths and wars.
There were manufactured authorities that did their thinking for them and they all seemed to have become downtrodden and incapable of independent thought.
We became fearful ourselves and cast our devices away least we became absorbed into the hive of mindless Cretans. As soon as we did this, the Blue Meanies showed themselves and gave pursuit.
We ran back to the submarine and just made our escape before nearly being flattened by some giant fists.
We recommend an immediate assault on Pepperland of high toned music and affinity.      


Sunday, May 12, 2019

Postcards Fron The Magical Mystery Tour 5-12-19

We’re all having a wonderful time!
Well… Actually I didn’t get on the bus until it was already quite late, somewhere around Baltimore. And most of the people who did get on the bus had already gotten off.
They got off somewhere around Topanga and became lawyers, at least this is what Bob told me.
Then there were quite a number of people who missed the bus all together. Quite a lot, I understand.
Anyway, it got to Baltimore and they said ‘Roll up!’ which is British for get in line, only there wasn’t any line at that time so I got right on.
I’ve been having a much better time since I gave up the idea that I was the driver.
You see, I thought I was the driver for quite a long time!
This came about, you see, because one day I just decided to pop up and talk to Buster and see if he really knew where we were going. You remember Buster, Buster Bloodvessel, yeah that’s the one. He thought he was the driver.
Only when I went up to see old Buster, I found out that he was dead! Finally busted that blood vessel, I guessed, and he had been dead for quite a long time.
Well, under the circumstances, I decided that something had to be done, so I pulled the bus over and stopped. This was somewhere in the Tulgy Woods.
So we pulled Buster out and buried him in the woods there and then I decided to drive the bus because who ever heard of a bus that drove itself?
Bob tried to warn me and said I would end up like Buster. He said it didn’t matter how the bus got there because it always arrived.
Well I tried driving the bus for such a long time, thinking someone had to get everyone wherever it was they were going but do you know, no matter how I tried, we never once ended up where I thought we would!
Yes, I became worked up and frustrated and overwrought until I finally gave up and went back to where the other passengers were, just sitting around partying and having a good old time.
Bob played his guitar a lot, which, if it was anyone else, might be annoying, but the man knows so many songs! He hardly ever repeats one. Do you know he still remembers his entire repertoire of Arlo Guthrie songs? Then he just makes up a new one almost everyday.
So I’ve learned to relax and enjoy the ride because, one thing I’ve realized is, one destination is like another: wonderful!
And the reason for that is:
“There’s nowhere you can be
That isn’t where you’re meant to be.
It’s easy!
All you need is love!”
(Rat ta tatatat.)

Sunday, May 5, 2019

There's A Fog Upon L.A.

“There’s a fog upon L.A.,
And my friends have lost their way.
We’ll be over soon they said,
Now they’ve lost themselves instead.
Please don’t be long..”
George Harrison

Here’s a pretty bit of The Beatle’s word play. On the surface, a story about some friends on their way over and getting lost in the fog and hopes that they won’t take long to make it.
Who are their friends? Their fans, of course: their listeners and followers. The Beatles were not reticent to point out that the whole Beatle Mania thing: all their fanatical fans were mainly just not getting it.
They were imitating who they thought The Beatles were. Dressing like them, taking drugs, dropping out of society and becoming hippies. Never mind that the Beatles were different people practically every album.
So there was a fog-an obscured vision thing and the fans had become lost, even though they said they would make it over soon.
What was the main hang-up then?
It was, and still is this: they were not discovering individually who they were but instead were relying on some type of group identification trip, i.e., becoming hippies.
Dressing like hippies, thinking like hippies, acting like hippies and The Magical Mystery Tour was uncovering data that maybe a person’s true identity could not be discovered or given to one from without.
Therefore, if you chose to belong you might be long in making any ground in discovering whom you really are. Perhaps no one else can tell you who you are.
Maybe, in the final analysis, there is no book that is going to give you a satisfactory answer to who you are and what it’s all about. Perhaps there is no movement or group that can answer all this for you.
Perhaps it’s a DIY self sort of thing.